Friends vs. Coworkers

Let's start simple. What IS a friend? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a friend is described and classified as "1a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance, 2a : one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group, 3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity), 4: a favored companion."  If you ask me, this is rather vague. For instance "one attached to another by affection or esteem" is MUCH different than an "acquaintance". Also, is a "friend" from a particular nation, party, or group mean a group of people who are "acquaintances" that are joined together for a specific reason, organization, or interest? Therefore, can coworkers truly be classified as "friends"?

Some say 'yes', others say 'no'. It is true that a great deal of friendships have blossomed from the workplace. I know people who have been friends inside and outside of work, through life and job changes and what not, for over thirty years! I, myself even have previous coworkers that I still converse with. As mentioned above, the workplace is a group of people that do the same job and have the same interests/personality to perform a particular job. So, it's only natural that coworkers will comingle. I know there are those coworkers that everyone dreads working with. It's like the family member that you avoid seeing or that you just plain don't get along with. But overall, where we spend 7 to 8 hours per day, 5 days a week, 35-40 hours per week, until retirement, where we spend 80% of our lives, we are naturally going to find a coworker with the same interests and the same things in common.

On the flip side, those that say 'no' are at work for one reason and one reason only. Work. A paycheck. Supporting the families. Some people aren't interested in conversing with others for any other reason other than to get a job done. Totally understandable. But it's definitely much more enjoyable to have someone to talk to, to eat lunch with, or to vent to.

So that begs the question, are your friends friends? or just coworkers? It can be difficult to decide that sometimes. Some people are nervous to ask the other out for lunch or perhaps a weekend outing because it's difficult to know the other's intentions. Going out for happy hour is one thing, but visiting another in their personal home on the weekends is another. Sometimes it's difficult to know whether or not you've crossed that line or if that is something you are comfortable with. It's also a great risk to befriend a coworker and then put trust in him or her. You may think by venting to one of your coworkers it is okay, especially when your coworker is being friendly, supportive, you know, a FRIEND. The next thing you find out, that person is trashing you behind your back, complaining about you to a supervisor, and turning other coworkers against you. That is when you know it's time to cut the ties and that you really aren't "friends". I know what you are thinking...what is this, high school? Seriously. It's sad to say that some adults NEVER grow up. They have personal, childish issues that keep them from maintaining professional and plutonic relationships with others.

The line between friends and coworkers can also depend heavily upon the work environment. I've worked in environments where EVERYONE is friends. Yeah, of course, there's the drama...but people stuck together, were friendly, and sometimes even treated you like family. However, I've also worked in environments where you'd walk in in the morning and not ONE person would look up, or even say "good morning" to you and can't be bothered with mindless conversations that weren't 100% involved with work. Those environments are often cold, tense, and unenjoyable. A work enviornment also greatly depends on culture. Work environments that carry different ethnic cultures can directly affect the work environment, both positively and negatively. It also depends on the work environment's policies with exchanging personal information, interacting outside of work, or even exchanging personal emails with one another. However, it's safe to say that is varies with different industries.

All in all, it's difficult to determine what is more approrpriate: friends or coworkers. It depends on the person, the overall work cultural, environment, ethnicities, and the organization of a workplace. It's true that some work places and environments are more friendlier than others. I find that the younger the work environment, the more coworkers act like children -- in their professionalism, or lack thereof, their communication ability, and the way they mingle and interact with coworkers. So who's really to say? Most importantly, it depends on your own comfort level. You may be a social person, a people lover, or you may be more of an introvert, focused on your work only. Either way, tread lightly.